Entry 19: No One Has Nothing to Give

It's amazing how quickly time can fly when you have nothing to do. I wrote in my last blog about being bored. Bored I definitely was, as I really did have nothing to do… And I would say the last week and a half has passed by superfast because I immersed myself in Facebook games, and TV shows (mostly Doctor Who). I completed a very small amount of paperwork, and I was fortunate enough to have a number of good friends come round and fill me in on their life; one or two even kicked me up the backside (as my lovely father would say) in getting on with some stuff that needs doing i.e. phone calls and chasing up stuff.

I have been attempting to get back on the wagon as it were, attempting to go back to work, attempting to get involved in voluntary organisations, attempting to do something worthwhile with my time. It's impressive just how long it takes for any of these things to happen! Interestingly enough, quite a few of the places I volunteered for actually turned me down – they already had enough help. This is a phenomenon I've never come across before… And I can only assume it's because I live in an area where people are generally quite giving their time. I certainly hope it's not because of my disability… Although you never know. One thing I'm concerned about if I do go back to work, and take on these new voluntary roles (the ones I did manage to get involved with) is how on earth I'm going to have time to maintain my games – my farm on Facebook will suffer! My Royal Story and my castle will crumble. I won't be able to see what everyone else is doing, and check-in six or seven times a day on my wall. I have a feeling I might have a Facebook addiction. Hmm.

As a quadriplegic with limited arm movement and hands that do not work, options are limited. I'm very fortunate to live in a time when technology is at such a level that I can control my computer with my voice, and other accessible technology (such as a mouth mouse which you may have seen on previous pictures). I'm able to use a telephone via a "possum" – an assistive technology device that actually can control the telephone, the TV, plug sockets and therefore anything switched into them… In fact there is a whole world of assistive technology out there, it just costs a lot of money. So, being useful as a quadriplegic at my level is a constant quandary for myself. I have become adept at asking others to do things for me. I have developed skills were in my mind I plan out almost military fashion, and then run off a speech to my poor PA of things that need to be done and how. I recognise that my memory is not strongest, therefore I make sure everything is written down in my diary, or on lists on my desktop. But again, this isn't really being useful to others. It's merely "living life" – getting the washing done, cleaning up, sorting out shelves, ordering medication etc. It certainly doesn't give me that much of a sense of purpose.

One interesting thing I've noticed about society is that when people meet each other, one of the very first question is now ask is "so what do you do?" It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person without proper employment will often lack a sense of identity. I still tell people I'm a teacher, even though I have not worked in a classroom for three years now. I know that at my core I am A Teacher. New mothers often feel as though they have become nobody, because they are housewives/home keepers/mummies, and society today still does not recognise that even though this is an unpaid job, it is quite possibly The Most Important job there can be. Though a human being may not be able to move, be it just their legs or their entire body, it is important to remember that they still have something to offer the world. Their experiences, their knowledge, their understanding and perspective… Take Steven Hawking for example. Prime example of a person who cannot move at all, and yet through the power of assistive technology has produced huge volumes of mind-boggling scientific work.

So then. I began today's blog about my boredom and how I dealt with it. I find that as I rambled on my conclusion has somehow become quite a statement in recognising that a person has so much more to give them what the eye might see. This is why you should never believe in first impressions. A person may be disabled – but that doesn't mean they have nothing to offer the world. It also doesn't mean that they are inaccessible, locked in their own body and unapproachable. In fact quite the opposite – it might take longer, it might need money spent on equipment and support, but at the end of the day Every Human Being is important because they have something unique to offer the world. My question is will you pause long enough to find out what that is?