Entry 23: Fixed Point in Time…

Birth certificate, marriage certificate, death certificate. The three certificates of life. Interesting how life itself, particularly in those early years, is marked out by licenses and certificates… Getting your general certificates in secondary education, a drivers license, the pieces of paper that say you're qualified to do X, Y, or Z. If you're lucky you may have a collection of birth certificates belonging to little creatures you have produced…

There's a reason it's called the human race. And there's a reason why there are those who are perceived as winning it, they are financially better off, or better off in a more holistic way such as having a loving family or active social life. Those who are 'doing better than others' are those who are apparently more satisfied with their lot. I guess it all depends on what you personally count as 'winning', or making it. Born out of an innate need inside each of us is that competitive edge to win our own personal human race. You might only be racing against yourself, just wanting to achieve your own personal goals. You might be racing against your siblings wanting to outshine them, or against your friends. Or you may have found that competing is just too hard and so have given up and dropped out of the race.

One of the hardest things for myself is being a fixed point in time.

I have felt this way for a very long time, well before I first became injured. It was as though I was stuck in one place at one time of my life and I was watching everyone around me move forward or onwards with life's little certificates of progress. It was very strange at first watching my friends get married. And then the momentum, the pace of people pairing up and settling down got quicker and quicker. Why I was not one of them is very hard to say, except that it just wasn't meant to be. However I have now entered that time when I am now watching from afar as each of these people produce Sproglets of their own. Life moves forward for them, or it just changes, as I watch some people change jobs, move cities, and in one unfortunate case a marriage breaks down. But me, I'm fixed in one point of time. Nothing changes. Even my hair has not changed since my teenage years!

The creator of the ultra-successful sitcom "Friends" has recently stated that there will categorically be no movie of the programme. She stated that the programme was about a time in your life when your friends are your family, and that that time had passed… Monica and Chandler were married with children, Phoebe had gotten married, Ross and Rachel had had a baby together, Ross even had a child with a former wife. The only one really who had stayed the same was Joey, but thinking of his character he was supposed to be the Eternal Bachelor. Well, I suppose if life is imitating art, that makes me The Eternal Bachelorette!

If I'm really honest when I read about this I actually felt really sad inside because my friends were my family. I spent so much more of my time with my friends than I did my relatives throughout my 20s, and in many ways I relied on my friends more than I did my family simply because of the nature of the relationships I had. I'm very proud of my friends, and I believe the quality of the friendships I have is amazing. Unfortunately, that just means I will miss them even more now that they have moved on.

Priorities change. Family means more, because blood is thicker than alcohol or coffee, lol. And I've noticed as I entered my 30s that I want to be closer to my family. I worry about their health. I want to know my parents better, I want to understand my roots more. And I wish that I could have a family of my own.

Instead, I'm sat inside my very own Tardis, although it is disguised as a power wheelchair and not a blue police box. I make an excellent companion… Whizzing around from place to place, throughout time, helping people where I can. In the late 1990s it was India, throughout the Noughties it was the homeless in Sheffield, it was the lost children in Peru, it was the depressed in Huddersfield and teenagers in West Sussex. And now in the Teenies (!?), Thanks to my own personal accident and situation, its people living with Spinal Cord Injury. The Doctor you could even say is disguised as my PA and regenerates on a regular basis. (Although some of the PA's I've had I would not offer such a distinguished title.) Perhaps that is stretching the metaphor a little bit far!? I have not collected life's little certificates of progress.

So, in the spirit of helping those with spinal cord injury I would ask people who are reading this blog to consider the following – Friday, 17 May Is SCI Awareness Day in the UK. I have challenged my friends to see if one person will step forward (pun intended) and spend one whole day in my manual wheelchair to raise money for The Backup Trust. On the just giving website we will place videos and commentaries updating the progress of what it's like throughout the day, the various challenges faced and things that the able-bodied person taking part discovers about living in a wheelchair. And if nobody does step forward and do it, then I would still ask for donations, because there would have been awareness raised of the difficulties faced every day by wheelchair users.

http://www.justgiving.com/justoneday-wheelchair