Entry 10: The Week That Was…

Monday

(Photograph stolen from Wikipedia)

I did not sleep very well last night. I've become a bit of an addict of the program Fringe, and watching five episodes back-to-back does not create a good mental state prepared for sleep. This morning I had to face dealing with something I had been putting off for well over a week… The ongoing saga of claiming compensation for my injuries and accident. I'd had all the info sent to me, and reading through it is somewhat taxing, and always raises up a highly emotional state in me. I could not eat breakfast. Nor lunch. I want to move forward, psychologically, emotionally, and literally in my life but dealing with the compensation claim takes me right back to 3 years ago and the huge life destroying incident that ruined so much of my present and future, and robbed my family, friends, and myself of so much.

Thank goodness for fresh air and massage therapists! I managed to get out for a little bit, get a change of scenery and then later on in the afternoon I had my first massage session. I'm paralysed from the mid chest down, so I hold all my body tension in my shoulders, neck and upper arms. I have struggled for three years now with pain in my muscles and tendons and nerves in this region and I get a lot of trigger points/knots that just cause deep aches I have no way of shifting. On the advice of my cousin, a physiotherapist*, I decided to invest in myself and employ a regular masseuse who is trained in deep tissue massage. Best New Year's resolution ever.
*http://www.thephysiotherapycentre.com


Tuesday
Today I have been battling with a very serious conundrum: how am I going to re-highlight my hair. Shocking revelation, so brace yourselves - I'm not a natural blonde. Or rather I am blonde, just not as blonde as I like to appear :-). I cannot go to a regular salon, because I cannot transfer into the chair that is bolted to the floor in front of the sinks… And so washing out the hair dye is an impossibility. In fact, it is the primary problem - even at home, if a mobile hairdresser were to highlight my hair, I would have to sit in my shower chair, and then once it is washed out, I would end up getting soaked and would need to be hoisted onto the bed to get changed… Or at least I would need to be hoisted into my wheelchair because the shower chair would be wet. I don't particularly want to be hoisted in front of a stranger… And it's a bit bizarre sending them out into the kitchen to hang about whilst I get sorted.

A friend of mine who is training to be a hairdresser came around this afternoon to give my hair a much needed trim (the ends were so damaged you'd think I'd dipped them in actual Domestos). I was horrified when she suggested that I return to my Natural Colour. Now not sure if friendship is worth maintaining… Natural colour, indeed!*Scoffs*

This might seem like a real stupid thing to be blogging about but actually it is quite serious - my appearance has completely changed since becoming quadriplegic. Every woman has parts of her body she dislikes and occasionally there are even parts that she likes. For me it was my hair that I liked, the rest I would have happily swapped. And maybe my feet… I quite liked those too. Given that I'm now constantly wearing a wheelchair, have a Tetra-slump hiding any kind of waistline I might have had, and of course, let's not forget the scar from my tracheostomy, I don't exactly feel very confident about my appearance. I never had much confidence anyway, and now I don't think I will ever feel attractive again. The only thing that could give me confidence would be my hair. After all, it is probably the only thing that has not changed or been affected by my injury. So dammit, I want to get my roots done, and highlight it properly! Anyone with any solution to this conundrum, Please do message me!

Wednesday
Okay, I've been umming and ah-ing whether to mention this… But as I decided that this week I would give an open and frank window into a general week in the life of tetraplegia I may as well talk about it. 
Have you ever wet yourself in public? Can you even remember the last time you wet yourself? Exactly how embarrassed would you be? How would you deal with it? Well, as I have no feeling, or control of my body from the mid chest down I therefore have to 'manage' my bodily systems. 

I was out with a friend having coffee, when I look down and noticed that my foot-plate is wet. I realise that one of my boots is a lot darker than the other. It is not the first time and I can almost guarantee it won't be the last time when my leg bag for some reason, has opened and leaked urine. Not only is my sock soaked but my boot had absorbed quite a large amount too. Kudos to my amazing friend who totally did not make a big deal out of it; she put her baby son in his pram and just as if it were an everyday occurrence we went into the loos and sorted it out. I doubt any of the other customers realised what was going on, although when I crashed into one of the wooden posts and knocked it off its plinth… I think I might have drawn some attention…

Following that drama I then had – Another Trip to the Opticians… I really didn't trust the first guys who did my contact lens assessment, so I made another appointment at a very well-known pharmaceutical/opticians that is named after a type of shoe. Turns out I really am getting longsighted! Well actually, that's a bit of an overstatement - I'm so shortsighted that it is known as a "complex prescription" and eligible for the NHS to contribute to any glasses I buy. But it would seem that due to my age I am now less shortsighted than I once was.… If this keeps continuing then hopefully by the time I reach 50 I won't need glasses at all!

To recover from what has been quite a stressful day I have some Quality Time with a good friend of mine and her two rather large dogs. As I'd been transferred out of my wheelchair and was sat like a Lady Muck on my comfy pink sofa chair, buried under my duvet, I was unable to go for a walk with them and get some much-needed fresh air! So instead they came to mine, and I was greeted by one of the dogs happily jumping onto my lap and giving my face a thorough clean with added "dog snogs." Now I know I said I miss snogging… But I'm not as desperate as that yet!

Thursday
Tetra-Morning today, so got up a little bit earlier to take care of certain personal needs. And that's all I'm going to say about that! 

I'm actually writing this on Friday morning, because I'm such a lazy moo that I couldn't be bothered finishing off last night. I mean, what should I tell you about today? (Thursday I mean, not Friday!). 

Following my Tetra morning, I had lunch out with some friends. Fortunately it was sunny weather, and quite warm. That meant that once the flat was tidy, I went through my post, with the aid of my PA, and then she helped me put my shoes on, helped put my coat on, and then she helped put my hat on and I went outside. I trundled along the pavement to where there is a dropped curb and then I trundled back along the road towards where my vehicle is parked. My PA aided me to get in the car, and bracketed me down, making sure my wheelchair won't move and then off we went to meet my friends.

If I'm trying to share with you something of "life in a chair", then the above little description of preparing to leave the house gives a small, tiny taster of what it's like. I am truly blessed with some amazing friends who frankly have rolled with the punches as it were, with my accident and adjusted to my new way of being. We were having chips in a pub that my friends had chosen specifically for its accessibility.

Friday

(SA Home Loans's photo)

I spent the morning sat in front of my laptop, editing this post. I actually really need to tackle a pile of paperwork that I keep ignoring. It means my PA and I need to make phone calls and write letters and organise post office trips and get out all my files so we can put paperwork away. Frankly, I'd rather play Farmville on Facebook! Having reread my week so far, I have become very aware of how many friends I have seen… And how they have really and truly just "gotten on with it." I know for many of them dealing with my tetraplegia has been quite hard to accept - and yet I am so fortunate, that they have still accepted me and gone beyond that to helping me and adjusted the way they do things so that I can be included.

Okay, so I got on with my paperwork and make phone calls. I'm sure this is making a riveting read! 

With the aid of my PA, I went through papers on benefits, solicitor details on selling my flat, papers from solicitors for my compensation claim, application forms to Canine Partners, finding paper with an old address on it to prove where I used to live… 

Making phone calls were my PA would have to dial the numbers and occasionally even have to "press one should this be your choice or press two If that is your choice," blah, blah. And then of course there is all the filing. I promise myself one day that I'm going to shred all my old paperwork from being at the spinal unit and from living in Liverpool, just as a way of updating myself. However, I have recently applied for a CRB and because I didn't throw away old papers I actually had evidence of where I used to live… Some people I'm sure find it really easy delegating, and putting work onto other people. In fact that kind of sounds like what most people would want to do - so maybe it's just the way my brain works, but I would far rather be able to flit about here and do a bit on that piece and then flit about there and do a bit on that. Unfortunately this makes it very hard for the person working with me to follow my train of thought. Not only am I thinking of what it is I'm actually doing, but I have to think about the other person and how they are going to accomplish what it is that I'm doing. Does that really sound bizarre and does it even make any sense? I'm not even sure myself!

Anyway, I gave us both a break and went out for a little walk, sorry, roll around the estate to get some fresh air and get away from this blasted laptop that I seem to spend 95% of my time in front of. Fortunately this time we remembered to charge my chair up!
And now I'm back in front of my laptop. Blogging to you lovely people :-)