Thank you for reading :-)
Thursday 29 August 2013
Entry 31: I had to share this… It says it so well
I came across this on my Facebook page and I had to add it to my blog – it's somebody else's blog! It's entitled "This Is What It Feels like to Be Quadriplegic", written by a guy called Jimmy Anderson. Since mine is about sharing with the world what it's like to be in the chair I thought it was rather apt.
Wednesday 7 August 2013
Entry 30: Timeout Folks
Hello there my fellow blog readers. I realise that it has again been a few weeks since I put in my last post. Of late I seem to be very slack in what I have to share from life in my chair… and I'm going to explain why now.
At first I felt as though I had run out of things to say. There's only so many times a person can go over some of the really poignant and more shitty times that basically get repeated over and over again e.g complaining about my PA, discussing the trial of having your life completely turned upside down, attempting to find a positive in all of the negative. Keeping everything in perspective.
A lot of people who read this blog are people who know me personally, and as more people tell me they are reading my blog the more self-conscious I become about what I say on here.
You know that I have always had to deal with a certain level of depression. And then there are strangers out there reading this blog who have no doubt managed to pick this up among all the reading. One of the ways my depression manifests itself is by my withdrawing from those around me, especially those who are close to me. I know that for some people alarm bells will start to ring if a week or more has gone by and I've not been in touch.
Over the last few weeks there have been a lot of changes, bad news, and ill-health occurring around me and to me. I hate being out of control, and I hate even more that being tetraplegic means I cannot help others when they are going through a really bad time or when they simply just need an extra pair of hands to help. It is so painful watching those you care about going through scary, stressful and life altering situations and you are only able to sit and watch from the sidelines because you cannot get up and give them a hug, or do anything helpful that will relieve the pressure for them...
And then I started thinking about how selfish I am feeling down on myself that I can't help others when they are the ones in dire straits. It's a vicious downward spiral of self pity and hatred and anger and frustration towards my tetraplegia, and a feeling of helplessness because there is nothing I can do about it. I try to remind myself about Keeping Perspective, but it's incredibly hard when you know just how much you've lost and you know there is no hope of ever getting it back.
So, there you go guys. I've not be able to write anything for a few weeks because I had all this stuff going around my head. I have highs and lows, just like anyone, and lately I've been more low than high.
I think I shall make this my last official post for a while. It will take the pressure off me needing to write anything, and then you also won't need to wade through a whole load of "'woe-is-me'/why do I bother reading this stuff?" And then hopefully when I next blog it will be something interesting possibly even humorous. Thank you for reading until now and hopefully I will write to you again.
At first I felt as though I had run out of things to say. There's only so many times a person can go over some of the really poignant and more shitty times that basically get repeated over and over again e.g complaining about my PA, discussing the trial of having your life completely turned upside down, attempting to find a positive in all of the negative. Keeping everything in perspective.
A lot of people who read this blog are people who know me personally, and as more people tell me they are reading my blog the more self-conscious I become about what I say on here.
You know that I have always had to deal with a certain level of depression. And then there are strangers out there reading this blog who have no doubt managed to pick this up among all the reading. One of the ways my depression manifests itself is by my withdrawing from those around me, especially those who are close to me. I know that for some people alarm bells will start to ring if a week or more has gone by and I've not been in touch.
Over the last few weeks there have been a lot of changes, bad news, and ill-health occurring around me and to me. I hate being out of control, and I hate even more that being tetraplegic means I cannot help others when they are going through a really bad time or when they simply just need an extra pair of hands to help. It is so painful watching those you care about going through scary, stressful and life altering situations and you are only able to sit and watch from the sidelines because you cannot get up and give them a hug, or do anything helpful that will relieve the pressure for them...
And then I started thinking about how selfish I am feeling down on myself that I can't help others when they are the ones in dire straits. It's a vicious downward spiral of self pity and hatred and anger and frustration towards my tetraplegia, and a feeling of helplessness because there is nothing I can do about it. I try to remind myself about Keeping Perspective, but it's incredibly hard when you know just how much you've lost and you know there is no hope of ever getting it back.
So, there you go guys. I've not be able to write anything for a few weeks because I had all this stuff going around my head. I have highs and lows, just like anyone, and lately I've been more low than high.
I think I shall make this my last official post for a while. It will take the pressure off me needing to write anything, and then you also won't need to wade through a whole load of "'woe-is-me'/why do I bother reading this stuff?" And then hopefully when I next blog it will be something interesting possibly even humorous. Thank you for reading until now and hopefully I will write to you again.
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